Empty Wishes

Sometimes, I forget how to think. Like no amount of effort yields discernible thought. I can sit and will myself to make sense, but I generally don’t comply with such orders. I wish I could be organized. That is to say it would be fantastic to have a mind which operates more like a library than a casino. I’m surprised I end sentences with periods instead of letting my words flow chaotically into one another. Some things I say are not worth saying at all, but my filter doesn’t work. I wish I could erase verbal sentences - make corrections with white out instead of reiterating what I say hoping it will make sense if it’s repeated well enough. I wish my judgement worked like that, too - not on the basis of regrets and changing the past, but having the presence of mind to correct mistakes as they happen. But I seldom can buckle down to call these things to mind, let alone put them into practice. I wish knowledge was indeed power. But power is money and money is fortune and fortune is luck - luck that I don’t have. I guess power ain’t my thing. I wish I could stop sitting around making empty wishes and just get things done, but alas, that’s just a wish as well...